Mar 4 post

About India

Each time the ship is preparing to go into a new port, there are “interport” students who come on board the port we are leaving. These students provide a chance to get to learn about their country. Remember Pann from Burma?

On Saturday, March 2, Arvind Thiagarajan and Dr. Shreyaa Sriram visited the LLL meeting. They were introducted to us by an US woman, Abby Aronson, who works for the US consulate. (Abby has made a career working for the US government and lived in various places—Albania, Euqado, Greece, and now India. She is an alumna of SAS!) Arvind is studying mechanical engineering and Shreyaa is studying to be a specialist in women's health. Although most families in northern India live in large, extended families (parents, children, grandparents, uncles, aunts, cousins) within one big house, they are from the south where mostly “nuclear” families live together. That's more like we live—mom, dad, kids. Their grandparents don't live with them, but if they get older and need help, they will move into their parents house. In southern India, it's common for the grandparents to live in the same apartment complex down the hallway in their own apartment.

Arvind and Shreyaa said that 8 out of 10 marriages are “arranged” currently in India. Females marry between 18-20 years old whereas males are 23-25 years old. Shreyaa said the parents who arrange the marriages of their children have kind of a check list of characteristics they want for their future daughter or son-in-law. She thinks it's a good system, because parents “always” make good decisions for their children—and she finds that “so annoying”...The woman brings lots of things into the marriage—it used to be called a dowry—but that is now outlawed. To further complicate this process, people generally marry within their caste. The caste system is related to the religion (Hindu) and, according to Shreyaa, is not a measure of wealth, although it affects your job, so really it affects your wealth.

When people marry, the woman moves into the family of the man and is responsible for taking care of the family of the man. Since Shreyaa will be a very busy woman being a a doctor for a woman, she will be responsible for making sure that everything in the house gets done. I'd say she'll definitely have a cleaning lady! If her husband's brother also has a wife, they all have to cooperate and get along. In fact, rarely do people get divorced, because Indians consider it shameful.

India's population is 1.3 Billion people—second only to China—and they trade their goods with each other a lot. The government provides free education up to eighth grade, but both Arvind and Shreyaa went to private schools. Shreyaa knows of people who have gone to government schools and become successful. Although education is free, it is not enforced. “It depends on the parents” is what Shreyaa thinks. In reality, many parents who have low jobs and income, need their children to work to help finance the family. Remember the boy sleeping in the box>

Neither Arvind nor Shreyaa are actively religious, although they are members of the Hindu tradition. As I understand it, Hindus believe in various lifetimes and that there is something about you that only you have. I think of it like a personality that is you no matter what “life” you are in. I found it interesting when Arvind said he was comfortable going into all sorts of places of worship—churches, temples, pagodas, etc. “It's not the idol you are worshipping, but the peace you feel when you enter.”

Sounds like pretty much what I believe.

Finally, there are two more things I want to say about Shreyaa that I thought were interesting. She is marrying for “love” not an arranged marriage. And, she is marrying outside her caste—her future husband is “lower” than she is, but her parents are totally fine with that.

Second, Shreyaa's father is a doctor in the “medical tourism” field. He arranges for surgeries that can't get done quickly enough in the country where the patients live. Although I know that it is a growing industry, I think I'll skip that tour!

I am getting seasick now that there is more “roll” in the waves, but we will be in port tomorrow.